Welcome everyone to post number 666. One could spend a whole day poking around the internet looking for articles and videos that claim to shed some light on the dubious history of the "Number of the Beast". Trust me, I have, and it makes no more sense to me now than it did before. There is one thing that I do know. For a large number of people it's an evil number, one reserved for Ol' Scratch, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, the Antichrist, or Lucifer a.k.a that schemin' demon commonly known as The Devil. (Cue the music.... I still don't have music after 3 years? Dang-it.) While I don't have any superstitions about the number myself, I do love movies about the boss-man of brimstone and his cohorts, and that leads me right into today's big announcement. Without further ado allow me to unveil this year's theme for the Halloween Top 13!


That's right this Halloween Top 13 the Bugg is kickin' it with Satan. From October 19th - 31st, I'll countdown 13 of my favorite films filled with devils and demons. After years and years of hearing (from misguided peoples) how Halloween was some kind of satanic holiday, I've figured that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I don't want to go so far as to actually join them. (Gross.) So instead I thought that confirming their worst fears would be way more than enough.  Of course, as with every year, I don't want do all this counting down on my lonesome. For this fourth annual tradition to be a real success, I need you loyal Lair-ers to pitch in. Each day along with the review (or separate for your HT13 Overachievers), I like to include a list of your favorite films in the same demonically possessed theme. So send yours in today to thelightningbug (AT) charter.net to join in. Feel free to list as many titles as you want (up to 13) or as few, elaborate or merely list, draw a picture if you must, but please do join in.

Seeing as I haven't gotten around to a film at all this month, I wanted to kick off October and this Satan Celebration with a movie that won't be appearing on my demons and devils list. While Pinhead and his Cenobite companions surely would fit the bill, I believe I've said quite enough about the portions of the Hellraiser series that I should talk about. What I haven't talked about nearly enough is the ones that barely justify a mention. Today's installment of the series, or rather today's brutalization of Clive Barker's vision, started off life as a script called "Dark Can't Breathe" before Pinhead and crew were grafted onto the story. Watching the film , it doesn't seem like a big surprise that it started life as something else. The real shock is that it ended as anything at all, even Hellraiser: Hellworld.

Despite the stated synopsis, "Gamers playing a MMORPG based on the "Hellraiser" franchise find their lives endangered after being invited to a rave whose host intends to show them the truth behind the Cenobite mythos." and one that says that "Pinhead returns to terrorize computer hackers that have opened a virtual Lament Configuration on the website Hellworld.com.", Hellworld  had little to do with either. The characters do apparently play a Hellraiser MMO (which we never see), but there's no virtual Lament Configuration to be seen. They are indeed invited to a rave (or more like a house party put on by the cast and crew of Bryan Loves You and Slipknot 2.0.) where they meet their host, Lance Henrickson, and slowly delve into his vaguely Barker-ish world.

How vague is it? Well Pinhead is on the scene, but instead of commanding a coterie of whipping chains, he uses a cleaver to cut off a victims head. Of course he's brought friends, there's a Cenobite that looks like a low end version of Chatterer, a blindfolded butterball named Bound, and one billed as "Melted Face Cenobite". To say that Pinhead has lost some of his menace here is an understatement. Doug Bradley, showing up here for the last time as Pinny, seems to be having a contest with Lance to see who can look more bored. It's hard to say who won, but Bradly looks clearly pained delivering wispy bon mots like, "Oh what wonders we have to show you." This rewording of a Pinhead quote from the first installment kind of pales in the face of past heavy hitters like, "No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering." I just couldn't help it at this point. The movie was that painful.

So was there anything in this hellacious film that actually worked. Actually yes, with some work, a little re-write, and if someone took Clive Barker out of it then it just might have been an interesting film with a commentary to make on online gaming culture. Now that is a big 'IF". When a movie is bad enough that an itinerant check casher like Mr. Bradley bows out of a repeat performance, then it was pretty damn bad. I could go into the cast of virtual unknowns or slam director Rick Bota who also made the underwhelming Hellraiser: Deader and Hellraiser: Hellseeker, but I don't see  how that's going to do any of us any good. If the devil's in the details, then he's all over Hellworld because the details are what make this movie less and less coherent as it progresses.