Teenage Catgirls In Heat

Teenage Catgirls in Heat (1997) starring Dave Cox, Gary Graves, and Carrie Vanston. Directed by Scott Perry.

Picking up a Troma film is always a shot in the dark. You could end up with Toxic Avenger or you could go home with Rabid Grannies. So when I first spotted TCIH in the store I was sceptical. That is until I saw the four star review from one Joe Bob Briggs. If you like b-movies and you don't know Joe Bob shame upon you and your entire family. Ok, maybe that was a bit harsh, but I digress. Over the years, I've come to expect that when Joe Bob says it's top notch then it is, and Teenage Catgirls in Heat proves that all over again.

The films opens in a little old granny trying to find her cat, but when she hears some noise up in the attic she investigates. There she finds a cat statue that takes over her mind and makes her sacrifice herself. Then cats all over town begin to take their own lives and come back as lithe naked girls. Our hero Ralph has been hitchhiking across Texas looking to get away from his psychic ex-girlfriend ("She was always accusing me of stuff I hadn't done yet."). The truck he's riding in the back of swerves and hits one of the suicidal felines which knocks Ralph off the back and onto the road where he meets the cat hunter, Warren. The cat hunter has made a life tracking down cats ever since his grandfather was ruthlessly attacked by a pack of house cats, but this time he knows something big is going on because his cat brainwave detector is registering something huge. At first he even suspects that Ralph may be " some insane maniac with a backpack full of cat heads", but that is soon cleared up.

While the boys head back to Warrens house to consult his zoology books on cats, the formerly suicidal cats, now buxom teens, make their way to the old lady's house and get their commands from the cat statue, They are to find men, mate with them, and then kill them all while leaving a rather contented smile on the corpses. Meanwhile, our intrepid heroes make some discoveries while consulting Warren's books. Seems Warrens grandfather was with a archaeologist group that discovered a statue of the cat goddess Keshra who is out to make a race of cat-men to rule the world. So the boys go out to find a cat and get some answers.

They finally manage to wrangle a cat and interrogate it. Ralph wonders how Warren will know what the cats are saying but he assures him that "after a lifetime hunting cats you just know" but so far he's just "been asking the wrong questions". This scene is worth the whole movie in and of itself as the cat could not look more bored as Warren and Ralph try to get some answers out of it. The new catgirls are leaning a thing or two as well as they learn to speak from an old age empowerment tape called Grey Power. They learn such helpful phrases as "My body is strong and sound." and "I can get the things I need." and so they do as they go looking for more cat food after theirs runs out.

The boys meet a couple of the catgirls on the road and flirt with them, and eventually Ralph even scores a date with one. He takes her out to a garden for a picnic and luckily for him he decided to bring some tuna along. Ralph and his catgirl, Cleo, retire to the catgirl's home base and they got it on, however, its all broken up when Ralph sees a gleam in her eyes and realises she means to kill him. Warren has been busy himself. He broke into the catgirls home and steals the idol of Keshra all the while holding the catgirls off with a water gun. He and Ralph escape from there and make a plan to destroy the idol.

Sadly, they cant come up with a good idea on how to get rid of it. They think about fire, but statues won't burn, and they reconsider throwing it in the river on the off chance that Keshra will just make a race of "catfish girls". As out heroes waste time, the catgirls prepare for war and practice throwing flatware at targets. The teen kittys finally track the guys down and hurl spoons and butter spreaders at them, but they get away tot he safety of Warrens house. However Keshra has ideas of her own and soon cats are pouring from the sky as she raises an army of naked catgirls. Ralph sneaks off on his own to meet with Cleo, but soon gets taken prisoner so he can lead them to the idol. Warren has come under Keshra's thrall and becomes her minion and shows up at the cathouse. Seems Warren's grandmother was herself a catgirl which makes Warren 1/4 cat and easily controlled. Warren and Keshra have an internal battle that leads to him first turning into a tiger then into a gold faced catman. Keshra and Warren have come to an understanding and have fallen in love. Keshra even brings all the men back to life that were killed, and she leaves Ralph and Cleo at the house to have their litter or little "whatevers" that Cleo is pregnant with.

This movie had me from the first minutes and didn't let go. The humor was sublime, and the girls who acted like cats were just wonderful. There's just not that many films you can watch as a bunch of topless chicks play with a ball of yarn. All the actors, even the bad ones, seemed to be doing the best in their roles and Gary Graves as Warren the cathunter was priceless. (Although something in his performance reminded me of one of my other favorite movie funnymen Diedrich Bader.) When its all said and done this movie gets very high marks from me, it is not simply just good. Its the cats meow.
The Lightning Bug Rating

1 comment:

  1. Finally, someone else who appreciates Catgirls as much as us. We love this movie so much that we tracked down half the cast/crew and made them answer all our questions.

    Thought you might like to see.

    Loco Nunca Magazine


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